Splitsville News

Even the press knows we have style.
Where a Bowling Alley Takes the High Road
  • Cincinnati, OH
  • Fairview, TX
  • Foxborough, MA
  • Miami, FL
  • Orlando, FL
  • Tampa, FL

This once-humble, blue-collar sport is pinning its hopes on attracting a younger, hipper crowd.

Boutique bowling? Excuse me? Can someone please tell me what those two words are doing in the same sentence?

Correct me if I’m wrong here, but I was under the impression bowling was mainly about loud noises, watery beer and overweight men with hairy forearms, while I’m fairly certain that “boutique” is French for “Excuse me, sir, but you can’t walk in here wearing that muscle shirt.”

Apparently I was wrong. At least I was wrong about the bowling. My first clue should have been the large banner stretched across the glassy, faintly nostalgic, two-story façade of Splitsville Luxury Lanes, the latest addition to the lineup of adult and family attractions at Downtown Disney.

“This Isn’t Your Daddy’s Bowling Alley,” it reads.

No argument there. I’m guessing my father’s bowling alley did not feature a wine list; two sushi bars; a menu featuring fried calamari, steamed edamame, crab Rangoon and Mahi Mahi with Voodoo Shrimp; and swank libations such as Lemon Drop Martinis and Dragonberry Mojitos to be savored from a second-story outdoor lounge offering a sweeping view of the Downtown Disney scene.

[Orlando Life, March 18, 2012]